During my mastermind group meeting last weekend, my friend Austin McCulloh recommended that I listen to a podcast that had Ed Mylett and Grant Cardone. I listened to the episode and they talked about something that really hit home with me; depression. All high performers feel like something is missing in their lives. That’s why they push so hard. That’s why they’re always seeking improvement. We’re never satisfied! This dissatisfaction is often mistaken for depression. I’ve always felt this. They also talked about how in this case, depression is facing the truth that you’re not doing everything you can do to reach your potential. By leaving chips on the table, you know that you didn’t do everything within your power. This is something I deal with on a daily basis. I’m my biggest critic, but I’m also the one who keeps me accountable to that critique. The “depression” that I’ve always had is actually just me facing the truth of my existence. I don’t do enough because I leave so much opportunity untaken. I don’t do enough because I’m not at the absolute pinnacle of my performing capabilities. I’m unsatisfied.
Ed Mylett also speaks about blissful dissatisfaction. This is having the craving for more, but being fulfilled in the present. It’s being happy, but wanting more. I’m always a mix of emotions. I’m happy, fulfilled, dissatisfied, and depressed all at the same time. To me, this depression is a healthy depression. This depression pushes me to perform at a level that others think is unfathomable, but this level is still short of what I know I can do. Nothing I do is ever good enough for me. I always want more, bigger, faster, etc. Currently, I am happy, but I’m also incredibly dissatisfied. I could be surrounded by nice cars, million dollar mansions, and sitting on a beach, but still, be dissatisfied. I can’t stop thinking of what’s next or the what ifs. This keeps me in a constant state of growth. At the end of the day, I’m the one who has to look myself in the mirror. That person staring back at me never lies and they tell me what I’m really made of. Overall, I’m happy, but I’m far from satisfied.